~No Less~

I had been fighting a low-grade fever most of the week, been pushing myself to go to classes each day, and now I hoped that, even though I felt a tad bit worse this morning, the vigorous exercise would at least help give me enough strength so I could be in classes today.But as the time for my first class drew very close, I decided that it would be best for me and possibly the students that I'd skip classes today even though my fever wasn't terrible.
Though we don't know why I get sick so easily and very often, one thing I do know is that God has helped me each time to see a mission that He wanted me to do during the sickness which I most likely wouldn't have been able to do if I were doing "my job."

Sometimes discouragement knocks hard at the door because I feel terrible that "I'm not being faithful" in my work as a teacher. Worries about my students and what they and others may think of me often want to crush me.

But with the Lord's help I must not open the door to discouragements and allow worries to crush the missionary spirit--the LIFE--within me. I cannot. Will not.

Sure, I and the students have lost many a day during this school year in English classes, but that's okay if being ill was in God's plan. Being ill doesn't mean that I am incapable of being a missionary and a blessing. If I am sick for Christ's sake, than I can know that He has a mission for me to do today that is of more importance to Him right now than my being in classes today. It's sometimes a struggle to believe that, but I know it's true.

My blind eyes must be opened so I can see today as He sees it--so I can live it as He wants to live it through me.

I want to share a quote from one of my favorite books, The Acts of the Apostles, page 465.  It is a wonderful encouragement to me and I pray that it will be to you, as well.

Patience as well as courage has its victories. By meekness under trial, no less than by boldness in enterprise, souls may be won to Christ. The Christian who manifests patience and cheerfulness under bereavement and suffering, who meets even death itself with the peace and calmness of an unwavering faith, may accomplish for the gospel more than he could have effected by a long life of faithful labor. Often when the servant of God is withdrawn from active duty, the mysterious providence which our shortsighted vision would lament is designed by God to accomplish a work that otherwise would never have been done.   

Let not the follower of Christ think, when he is no longer able to labor openly and actively for God and His truth, that he has no service to render, no reward to secure. Christ's true witnesses are never laid aside. In health and sickness, in life and death, God uses them still. When through Satan's malice the servants of Christ have been persecuted, their active labors hindered, when they have been cast into prison, or dragged to the scaffold or to the stake, it was that truth might gain a greater triumph. As these faithful ones sealed their testimony with their blood, souls hitherto in doubt and uncertainty were convinced of the faith of Christ and took their stand courageously for Him. From the ashes of the martyrs has sprung an abundant harvest for God.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I want to be filled with such strength as this. I long for God's power to rest upon me even through this illness.

I praise Him that He will give me the physical and spiritual strength I need for the mission that He has called me to do at every moment of today and each day to come.

And through this He can and will bring a harvest, even if my helplessness strengthens and frees only one dying, imprisoned soul. If this is what it takes to draw even one closer to the Missionary to the world, then that is what I want.

And most certainly, God allowing me to get sick is never just for other people. NO, it's for me, too. It's in God's abundant mercy and love that He allows me to go through the fires of affliction so that my life can be purified.

Oh, my brothers and sisters, is this your heart's longing?

Do you seek to possess this kind of heart and life with all your hearts--with your all?

I pray that it is so throughout every day--24/7.